NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just invented taco cereal.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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