That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
