i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
