I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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