I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
