Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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