So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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