oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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