My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
stop calling my apartment porn island.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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