D3 body, D1 cock
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
