But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
