Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
