Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize