I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize