we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
