so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
