Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
