How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
