Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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