Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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