if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
