So drunk, too bad you don't want this
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
