OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
