i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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