i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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