Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
