Sry I called you an 8
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
