Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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