I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
