I can tuck mytits in my pants
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize