we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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