I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
