he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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