So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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