So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
