dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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