Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
