1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
