her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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