You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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