its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
