That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
