Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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