guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
