I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
