He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
