He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
