idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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