This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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