Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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