dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
