I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
