I must be too annoying 4 u.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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