wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
