We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
