She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
