what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
