1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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