dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
