I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
