What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
