I think i peed on brittanys purse
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Everything about him screamed your future.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
