u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
