Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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