belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
we made out on top of his cat.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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