Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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