I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
